Jenny Towill is psyched for climbing and life.

I started my first job when I was 15. Living in a Devon seaside town this meant long hours in a pasty shop, doling out enormous portions of pasties, clotted cream and ice cream to sunburnt visitors who all looked rather too large to start with. I was a few years younger than the other girls that worked there, so I looked up to them, I wanted to be where they were. I was a mere pasty server while they had the privilege of making the ice creams. I so wanted to be them - 19 and cool, mixing ice cream. Not 15 and just finding my way.

Now I’ve found my path - I’m driven by climbing. I love the physical movement on the rock, the adventure, the head game – well, at least when I win. And I’ve learnt that to climb to the best of your ability there is one major factor that overrides everything else - you have to be psyched.

Within a year of starting to climb I’d led Flying Buttress on Dinas Cromlech. Nice climb, but what I really remember is sitting at the bottom of my route, awestruck by the sight of someone climbing Left Wall. At that point in my climbing history the person could’ve been halfway up any of the Cromlech routes and it wouldn’t have made a blind bit of difference to my amazement. I didn’t understand the concept of “E” grades, and I certainly didn’t realise the amount of people who would be capable of heading up this monster of an E2. All I saw was an amazing route threading a beautiful line up the centre of an awesome wall. I couldn’t believe that someone could climb it.

To get psyched you need three things: to have the ability, to believe in your ability, and to want to do it. It’s good to be psyched; about life, about climbing. If you want to go somewhere, do something, be someone, then aspire to those that are already there and make a damn good effort to join them - you almost certainly will.

The climbs won’t always come easily. You have to be able to imagine yourself there, on a route, in a position. Not to ask, but to tell yourself that is where you are going to be. If you want to be there enough you have to be prepared to be scared, to be pumped, bleeding and sweating onto the holds. To be able to laugh at your leg as it judders uncontrollably to a crazy rhythm you’re unable to hear. To sing and curse, or whatever it takes to get your breathing and heart rate to something near normal, and your leg under control to make that crux move.

But when you make that move, and you’re through it, it’s the best feeling in the world. That first jug, that first ledge, the first bit of bomber pro that lets you know that the winger isn’t happening, at least not today. The top out, with forearms screaming, heart racing, and legs wobbling, before you lean back into an exhausted heap, all moments of doubt forgotten. Wondering just what the heck you were doing - why did you ever start up this route? Why did you even start climbing at all? This is no way to be spending a Sunday afternoon, slipping around on a sidepull and a blood covered crimp thinking to yourself, “why the hell aren’t I at home watching the cricket?”. But now you’re through, at the top, where you aspired to be, and let’s face it, you knew you’d get there one day, somehow. You’re up there, with those who could waltz up it when you could only dream, and as your partner shouts “how was it?” you look down with a huge grin and reply: “f***ing awesome”.

Left Wall didn’t go down without a fight, the biggest winger I’ve ever taken, and the most pumped I’ve ever been. But I eventually topped out and that sling was the sweetest thing I’ve ever clipped. It may not have been my most stylish climb but it was one of my proudest moments, and the beer that night was the best I’ve ever tasted.

I managed to get to the heady status of ice cream maker too. In fact I think there was even a point where I was the best damn ice-cream maker in the whole shop. There was even a short period when I was content, proud, to be in that position. It didn’t last for long - I got psyched for something else.

BMC member Jen Towill lives in North Wales and is a keen environmentalist and climber. She is currently working for the RSPB and escapes to the Llanberis Pass crags at every opportunity.

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